Saturday and Sunday are the strongest days
All the other days are just weak-days
Loading..."Jim Morrison was overrated!" the son screams as he stomps upstairs…
… his dad calls angrily after him: “YOUNG MAN, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS?!”
Teacher: “Which Of The Two Travels Faster, Heat Or Cold?”
Teacher: “Which Of The Two Travels Faster, Heat Or Cold?”
Student: “Heat”
Teacher: “What Makes You Think That?”
Student: “Because We Catch Cold“
An amateur boxer was confused about where to hit. His coach said to never hit below the waist.
That’s the punchline.
Why was Cyclops chosen to lead the X-Men?
For his experience with the responsibilities of a super visor.
There are some wrappers under the couch….
….Eminem and 50 cent.
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“I feel like such a failure, doc. All my 5 boys want to be valets when they grow up.”
Doctor: WOW! That’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.
TIL they don’t cook French fries in France
They cook them in Greece.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore, he keeps getting attached by ducks.
I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog
A woman gets on a Bus with her Baby.
A woman gets on a Bus with her Baby. The Bus Driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest Baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you,
If there is an elephant in the room and nobody notices
is it irrelephant?
Why didn’t the boat dock?
Too much Pier Pressure
What days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays
what did one hat say to another?
you stay here. i’ll go on a head
I feel bad for people that mow the edges of golf courses.
They have a rough job.
I just completed my first marathon in the Middle East.
Iran to Iraq
I’m a man who likes to drive with high heels on…
I call it drag racing.
Did you know that a nose cannot be twelve inches long?
Otherwise it would be a foot.
Two weed dealers are laundering money into the bank. Where is it going?
A joint account.
The other day, I bought a thesaurus. When I got home, I opened it up and all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
What do you call a hippie’s wife?
Mississippi.
Apparently you can’t use beef stew as a password .
It’s not strogonoff.
Where do cows go after elementary school?
To a second dairy school.
What do you call an oatmeal cream pie that looks like Michael Jackson?
Lil Deb HEE-HEE
Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose.
(4.86 out of 5)