Tiki Humor

Women’s ass size study

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses, the results were pretty interesting.

30% of women think their ass is too fat, 10% of women think their ass is too skinny, The remaining 60% say they don’t care, they love him, he is a good man, and wouldn’t trade him for the world

Posted by Adam Selvidge

November 7th, 2017 at 9:05 pm

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A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house.

A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes of flirting, she placed her hand on his arm and said, “Let’s go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.”
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, “What would you say is my best feature?”
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, “It has to be your ears.”
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, “My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100 percent natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin, not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?”
Clearing his throat, he stammered, “Outside, when you said you heard someone coming…that was me.”

Posted by Adam Selvidge

November 6th, 2017 at 3:31 pm

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Why did the blind man fall into the well?

He couldn’t see that well.

Posted by Adam Selvidge

May 20th, 2017 at 4:16 pm

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What is the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?

What is the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
Luke warm

Posted by Adam Selvidge

May 4th, 2017 at 4:21 pm

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The Ex-Wife

Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage just for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally spoke, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop. You probably should just consider selling all your tools along with your gun collection and that stupid vintage Harley.”

Tom got a horrified look on his face and began choking.

She said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”

He replied, “There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”

“Ex-wife!” she screamed, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”

Tom replied: “I wasn’t.”

Posted by Adam Selvidge

April 6th, 2017 at 4:21 pm

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Donald Trump – “I’m not orange!”

“Impeach.”

Posted by Adam Selvidge

February 18th, 2017 at 6:44 am

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Meanwhile, In Detroit…

Bob was sitting on the plane waiting to fly to Detroit when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.

“What’s the matter?” Bob asked.

“I’ve been transferred to Detroit – I’ve heard the people are crazy there. They’ve got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation.”

Bob replied, “I’ve lived in Detroit all my life. It’s not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a private school. It’s as safe a place as anywhere in the world.”

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, “Oh, thank you. I’ve been worried to death. But if you live there and say it’s OK, I’ll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck.”

Posted by Adam Selvidge

February 13th, 2017 at 7:02 pm

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What’s the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk. It’s pasteurized before you see it.

Posted by Adam Selvidge

January 19th, 2017 at 4:18 pm

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Brunette At The Doctor’s Office

A brunette goes into a doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

“Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.”

She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain.

The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette are you?”

She says, “No, I dyed my hair. I’m naturally blonde.”

“I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.”

Posted by Adam Selvidge

January 6th, 2017 at 6:01 pm

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Why do ex-mormons always take two Mormons fishing?

If you take only one Mormon he drinks all your beer.

Posted by Adam Selvidge

January 3rd, 2017 at 4:45 pm

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