Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?
To get a long little doggie!
Loading...What do cows listen to?
Mooooosic.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar
and asks for a drink. The bartender replies, “We don’t serve food here”.
What did one wall say to the other?
Let’s meet in the corner
Why did the computer cross the road?
To get a byte to eat!
I always heat up my Thanksgiving Leftovers
I quit cold turkey a long time ago
What do you call fake spaghetti?
Impasta
What is it called when a chickpea is killed?
Hummicide
Why couldn’t the grape help his friend move into his new house?
“Because he was in a jam
Which wouldn’t be bad, but all the grapes that DID help just whined the whole time.”
How do you communicate with a fish?
You drop it a line…
Why do ghosts enjoy riding in elevators?
It lifts their spirits
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You may think it’s ARRRR, but nay, his first love be the CEEEEE
Two fish are in a tank ….
… one turns to the other and says, “do you know how to drive this thing?
How do you send a sandwich to someone on a computer?
One byte at a time
What do you call the ghost of a chicken?
Poultrygiest
When’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty.
What did the hacker do on his day off?
He went phishing!
Which state has the smallest soft drinks?
Minisoda
How do you repair a broken tomato?
Tomato Paste!
Why is it difficult for a pirate to learn the alphabet?
Because he’s always gets lost at “C”
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meowton.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
“Give me my quarterback!”
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A Slipper.
what happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad!
(4.86 out of 5)