what do you call cows that have a sense of humor?
Laughing stock!
Cowmedians?
Loading...Mary had baby Jesus.
Jesus was the Lamb of God.
Therefore, Mary had a little lamb.
Why do pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What type of dinosaur has the cleanest teeth?
A flossiraptor.
Did you hear about the chameleon that coun’t change color?
He had a reptile dysfuntion!
What’s the difference between a Zippo and a hippo?
One’s really heavy, and the other’s a little lighter.
what do you call a gator between two buildings?
An Alley Gator
Why do vampires believe everything you tell them?
Because they’re suckers!
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What do you call a vegetable that has escaped from prison?
Esca-peas
What do vegan zombies eat?
Graaaaains.
Why doesn’t Sherlock Holmes pay any income tax?
Because he makes so many brilliant deductions
Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
Because all the fans left.
What’s the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One of them’s heavy and the others a little lighter.
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience
The second time let me down.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that burned down?
All that’s left is de Brie.
How do you think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg
What do you call a retarded boob?
Stupidity
What’s it called when a cowboy comes back to life?
Reintarnation
What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common?
They’re both perfectly safe until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet
I just don’t know why.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
Did you hear about the perfume that smells of nothing?
I think it’s total non scents.
What’s the quietest dinner?
A Shhhh Kebab
Dé jà pú
that weird feeling you’ve been through this shit before
(4.86 out of 5)