I have some jokes about unemployment
But I don’t think they will work
Loading...What’s a ghost’s favorite thing to throw?
A Boo-merang
Why can’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless.
Did you hear about the locomotive that always did what it was told?
It was really well trained.
Why can’t the Infinity car company trademark ∞?
The legal battle would be endless.
why should you never play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs!
What do you call tangled rope in space?
Astro-knots
Why does Waldo wear stripes
Because he didn’t want to be spotted!
A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage.
The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”
Why did the golfer take a spare pair of pants with him?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?
To get a long little doggie!
What do cows listen to?
Mooooosic.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar
and asks for a drink. The bartender replies, “We don’t serve food here”.
What did one wall say to the other?
Let’s meet in the corner
Why did the computer cross the road?
To get a byte to eat!
I always heat up my Thanksgiving Leftovers
I quit cold turkey a long time ago
What do you call fake spaghetti?
Impasta
What is it called when a chickpea is killed?
Hummicide
Why couldn’t the grape help his friend move into his new house?
“Because he was in a jam
Which wouldn’t be bad, but all the grapes that DID help just whined the whole time.”
How do you communicate with a fish?
You drop it a line…
Why do ghosts enjoy riding in elevators?
It lifts their spirits
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You may think it’s ARRRR, but nay, his first love be the CEEEEE
Two fish are in a tank ….
… one turns to the other and says, “do you know how to drive this thing?
How do you send a sandwich to someone on a computer?
One byte at a time
What do you call the ghost of a chicken?
Poultrygiest
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