Tiki Humor

what do you call cows that have a sense of humor?

Laughing stock!

Cowmedians?

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Mary had baby Jesus.

Jesus was the Lamb of God.

Therefore, Mary had a little lamb.

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Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp.

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What type of dinosaur has the cleanest teeth?

A flossiraptor.

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Did you hear about the chameleon that coun’t change color?

He had a reptile dysfuntion!

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What’s the difference between a Zippo and a hippo?

One’s really heavy, and the other’s a little lighter.

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what do you call a gator between two buildings?

An Alley Gator

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Why do vampires believe everything you tell them?

Because they’re suckers!

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Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

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What do you call a vegetable that has escaped from prison?

Esca-peas

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What do vegan zombies eat?

Graaaaains.

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Why doesn’t Sherlock Holmes pay any income tax?

Because he makes so many brilliant deductions

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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?

Because all the fans left.

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What’s the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One of them’s heavy and the others a little lighter.

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My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience

The second time let me down.

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Did you hear about the cheese factory that burned down?

All that’s left is de Brie.

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How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg

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What do you call a retarded boob?

Stupidity

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What’s it called when a cowboy comes back to life?

Reintarnation

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What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common?

They’re both perfectly safe until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet

I just don’t know why.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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Did you hear about the perfume that smells of nothing?

I think it’s total non scents.

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What’s the quietest dinner?

A Shhhh Kebab

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Dé jà pú

that weird feeling you’ve been through this shit before

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