Tiki Humor

When the nurses ask me how tall I am I tell them 5’10

I used to be taller but I got married and settled down.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

I have a steroid addiction, but there is one silver lining.

It has only made me stronger.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

I’m desperately looking to make friends with someone called Moderation.

My wife says that I should drink with him every day.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

My friends used to call me "Mushroom"

Because I was such a fun guy.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

If a man and woman need a marriage licence, what do two women need?

A liquor licence

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with , ,

My grandfather is 85 and he still doesn’t need glasses.

He drinks straight from the bottle.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with ,

My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience…

The second time let me down

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with

A man goes into a job interview.

A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.

The employer is shocked at how professional he is, “Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?”

The man replied, “Oh, that’s when I went to Yale.”

The employer is even more impressed. “That’s great, you’re hired!”

The man is super happy and says “Yay, I got a yob!”

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with

How do you insult someone who is pledging a fraternity?

You call them Oedipus — a Greek motherfucker.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with

A good joke is like a good fart.

If you have to force it, it is probably sh*t

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

What do you call a guy standing next to a hole?

Doug

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with

My wife asked me, “Honey, do you think our kids are spoiled?”

I said, “No, I think most kids smell that way.”

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

someone wrote a book on clock fetishes

its about fucking time

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

I asked my North Korean friend how things were going there.

He said, “I can’t complain.”

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with

What did the tall girl say to the short guy?

“Can you go up on me?”

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

I just realised it’s been years since I did the hokey pokey

I guess I forgot what it’s all about

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

What do you call the world’s smartest butcher?

Cleaver.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

How do you handle a red-head’s anger?

Gingerly

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Why are professional hand models so lucky?

Because they get a lot of hand jobs.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with ,

My twin brother called me from prison.

He said “so you know how we always finish each other’s sentences…”

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with ,

A horse walks into a bar with a maths problem that says ‘If a shape has a width twice the size of its length, which is the greatest in size?’

The barman says ‘y, the long face’

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with ,

As I am getting older, I start to think about all the people I’ve lost along the way..

and I came to the realization that maybe my career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with