Tiki Humor

I have some jokes about unemployment

But I don’t think they will work

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What’s a ghost’s favorite thing to throw?

A Boo-merang

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Why can’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless.

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Did you hear about the locomotive that always did what it was told?

It was really well trained.

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Why can’t the Infinity car company trademark ∞?

The legal battle would be endless.

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why should you never play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs!

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What do you call tangled rope in space?

Astro-knots

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Why does Waldo wear stripes

Because he didn’t want to be spotted!

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A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage.

The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”

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Why did the golfer take a spare pair of pants with him?

In case he got a hole in one!

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Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?

To get a long little doggie!

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What do cows listen to?

Mooooosic.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar

and asks for a drink. The bartender replies, “We don’t serve food here”.

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What did one wall say to the other?

Let’s meet in the corner

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Why did the computer cross the road?

To get a byte to eat!

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I always heat up my Thanksgiving Leftovers

I quit cold turkey a long time ago

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What do you call fake spaghetti?

Impasta

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What is it called when a chickpea is killed?

Hummicide

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Why couldn’t the grape help his friend move into his new house?

“Because he was in a jam
Which wouldn’t be bad, but all the grapes that DID help just whined the whole time.”

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How do you communicate with a fish?

You drop it a line…

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Why do ghosts enjoy riding in elevators?

It lifts their spirits

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What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

You may think it’s ARRRR, but nay, his first love be the CEEEEE

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Two fish are in a tank ….

… one turns to the other and says, “do you know how to drive this thing?

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How do you send a sandwich to someone on a computer?

One byte at a time

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What do you call the ghost of a chicken?

Poultrygiest

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