Why do Norwegians have bar codes on their ships?
So when they dock they can Scan the Navy in!
Loading...Where do square riverbeds get their water from?
Box springs.
A Hot Dog Walks Into A Bar and Orders A Beer
The bartender replies, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
Why a stadium gets too hot when game ends ?
Because all fans leave the stadium
A truck full of NyQuil crashed on the highway this morning.
The cops are saying there will be no congestion for eight hours.
How do you feel after you eat pot brownies that aren’t quite done?
Half baked.
How to you punish beef?
Ground them.
Man: Your honor, my wife never laughs at my Star Wars jokes…
Judge: Say no more, may divorce be with you!
I first met your mother at the Farmer’s market. She was selling honey and bee’s wax candles.
Right away I knew she was a keeper.
My son had a lot of alphabet soup today at school.
He came home and complained of vowel movements.
How much does a pirate pay for ear piercings?
A buck an ear
The first French fries weren’t cooked in France.
They were cooked in Greece.
What’s the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says ribbit ribbit, the other says rub it rub it.
Whats orange and sounds like parrot?
Carrot.
What’s the point of having forearms…
…if I’ve only got two hands?
Where did Noah keep his bees?
In The Ark Hive
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky
what do you call cows that have a sense of humor?
Laughing stock!
Cowmedians?
Mary had baby Jesus.
Jesus was the Lamb of God.
Therefore, Mary had a little lamb.
Why do pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What type of dinosaur has the cleanest teeth?
A flossiraptor.
Did you hear about the chameleon that coun’t change color?
He had a reptile dysfuntion!
What’s the difference between a Zippo and a hippo?
One’s really heavy, and the other’s a little lighter.
what do you call a gator between two buildings?
An Alley Gator
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