Tiki Humor

Why did the belt get arrested?

Because it held up a pair of pants.

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What do you call a monkey in a minefield?

A Baboom!

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A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll

A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.
The guy behind the counter says, “Male or female ?”
The customer says, “Female.”
The counter guy asks, “Black or white?”
The customer says, “White.”
The counter guy asks, “Christian or Muslim?”
The customer says, “What does religion have to do with it?”
The counter guy says, “The Muslim one blows itself up.”

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I saw some girl texting and driving the other day and it really pissed me off…

…so i rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.

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And so Christmas Season Begins

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
‘In honor of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It’s a candle’, he said.
‘You may pass through the pearly gates’ Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, ‘They’re bells.’
Saint Peter said ‘You may pass through the pearly gates’.
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, ‘And just what do those symbolize?’
The paddy replied, ‘These are Carols.’

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What do you call a missing psychic midget?

A small medium at large.

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What do you call a cow thats had an abortion?

Decaffeinated.

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What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

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