Tiki Humor

I met a Muslim man who said he had the Qur’an on DVD…

The trouble started when I asked him to burn a copy for me.

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My girlfriend got me a mood ring the other day but it didn’t come with instructions. So far we know that if I’m in a good mood, it’s green…

And if I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on her forehead.

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Pay me a complement

Wife: I look like a fat, ugly, wrinkly, pig, be a dear and pay me a complement

Husband: Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.

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My love is like a candle…

Because if you forget about me I will burn your fucking house to the ground.

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