Tiki Humor

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are hanging out one afternoon…

Einstein is bored, so he suggests, “Let’s play hide-and-seek. I’ll be it!” The others agree, so Einstein begins counting. “One… Two… Three…” Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide, but Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized square on the ground. He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, “Ready or not, here I come!” Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him.

He says, “I found you, Newton!” Newton replies, “No, you found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal!”

 

Posted by tiki god

May 27th, 2013 at 8:00 am

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How do you make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.

 

Posted by tiki god

May 26th, 2013 at 8:00 am

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A Greek and an Italian are arguing over whose culture is superior

he Greek says “We built the Parthenon.” the Italian says “We build the Colosseum.” The Greek says “We came up with advanced Mathematics” The Italian says “We made the Roman Empire.” The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. “We invented sex.” The Italian replies “True, true, I can’t argue with that, but we thought of having it with women.”

 

Posted by tiki god

May 25th, 2013 at 8:00 am

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2 Drunks in a pick-up truck

Are parked on a gravel road when they see the Sheriff pull in behind them. The passenger starts to panic but the driver says “It’s cool man, just chug your beer, rip off the label, stick it on your forehead, and stash the bottle under the seat.” So the sheriff gets to the truck door and sees 2 drunks with Budweiser labels on their faces. He cocks his brow inquisitively and says “You boys ain’t been drinkin, have you?”. The driver beams a smile, points to his his forehead and says “Oh no officer, we’re on the patch”.

 

Posted by tiki god

May 24th, 2013 at 8:00 am

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stroke

One day three old ladies were sitting on a park bench and this guy jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.
The first lady had a stroke, the second one had a stroke, and the third one’s arm was too short to reach.

 

Posted by tiki god

May 23rd, 2013 at 8:00 am

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A man just finished with his favorite prostitute

And she was just slowly caressing his dick lovingly. He asked if he could get dressed and she begged for a few more minutes. Feeling proud of himself he asked why his tool was so amazing and she said “I love holding cocks and miss it dearly since I had mine taken off”

Posted by tiki god

May 22nd, 2013 at 8:00 am

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What’s the best time of the day?

6:30… hands down

 

Posted by tiki god

May 21st, 2013 at 8:00 am

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I was teaching a bunch of black teenagers about slavery

None of them liked the concept, but their grandparents were sold on the idea.

 

Posted by tiki god

May 20th, 2013 at 8:00 am

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What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full.

 

Posted by tiki god

May 19th, 2013 at 8:00 am

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Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water?

She was taking god’s name in vein.

 

Posted by tiki god

May 18th, 2013 at 8:00 am

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