Tiki Humor

what’s darth vader’s corrupt brother’s name?

taxi vader

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Hitler and Stalin are sitting at the bar . . .

Hitler and Stalin are sitting at the bar. A patron walks up to the bar and asks the barman if thats Hitler and Stalin sitting over there. He says yes. The man goes over to Hitler and Stalin and asks what they are doing. “We’re planning world war 3″ says Stalin. “We’re going to kill 14 million jews and 1 bike repair man” says Hitler “Why the bike repair man?” The patron asks. Hitler says to Stalin “See? I told you no one would ask about the jews.”

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I know someone who talks like an owl

I know someone who talks like an owl

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What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains no letters?

An Empty Envelope.

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A blonde gets on an airplane . . .

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.” The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.”

The head stewardesses doesn’t even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blonde is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, “I told her the front half of the airplane wasn’t going to Jamaica.”

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Meanwhile, when I was much younger…

I remember the time, when I was considerably younger, I picked up a lovely date at her parent’s home. I had scraped together enough money to take her to a fancy restaurant. She ordered the most expensive items on the menu: Shrimp Cocktail, 3 lb Lobster, even Champagne. I asked her, “Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?” “No,” she replied, “but Mom’s not expecting a blow job tonight.”

I said, “Would you care for dessert?”

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