Tiki Humor

blonde man shouts frantically into the phone

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”

“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.

“No!” he shouts, “this is her husband!”

Posted by Adam Selvidge

September 21st, 2016 at 8:00 am

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A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat

A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND .”

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

Posted by Adam Selvidge

September 20th, 2016 at 8:00 am

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A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts

A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: “Did you find the shampoo?”

He answers, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do… it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine.”

Posted by Adam Selvidge

September 19th, 2016 at 8:00 am

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What kind of shoes do frogs wear?

Open toad

Posted by Adam Selvidge

July 28th, 2016 at 8:00 am

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A Blonde guy comes homes . . .

Hears his wife screaming, coming from their bedroom upstairs. He sprints up, and opens the door to see his wife laying naked on their bed, sweating and panting.

“Honey! Help! I’m having a heart attack!”

He runs back down the stairs and starts dialing the ambulance, when his son and daughter tell him:

“Dad! Uncle Terry’s upstairs! And he’s naked!”

He slams down the phone, sprints back up the stairs, runs past his wife and opens the wardrobe. Sure enough, there was his brother crouching in the corner naked.

“WHAT THE HELL TERRY! My wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!”

Posted by Adam Selvidge

July 27th, 2016 at 2:07 pm

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A woman made her first visit to a Gynecologist one day. . .

A woman made her first visit to a Gynecologist one day. She was incredibly nervous and the old, and very experienced, doctor could tell.

As he asked her to sit up on the bed and put her feet in the stirrups he saw her knees were shaking. The doctor asked “you seem a bit tense. Would you like some numbing?”

The girl was a bit embarrassed but very relieved and said “Oh yes please!”

The doctor rolled up his sleeves, shoved his face between her legs, and went “NUMANUMANUMANUMA”

Posted by Adam Selvidge

July 24th, 2016 at 3:13 pm

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What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common?

They can smell it, but they can’t eat it.

Posted by Adam Selvidge

July 23rd, 2016 at 3:13 pm

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What do a dog and a nearsighted gynecologist have in common?

A wet nose.

Posted by Adam Selvidge

July 22nd, 2016 at 3:13 pm

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Which rock group has 4 men that don’t sing?

Mount Rushmore

Posted by Adam Selvidge

July 8th, 2016 at 8:00 am

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How many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None! They’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw.

Posted by Adam Selvidge

July 7th, 2016 at 12:00 am

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