Tiki Humor

Did you know there’s a pastry that can’t be made or sold at night?

A day-nish.

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Woman walks into a library and says have you any books about paranoia?

Librarian says their behind you.

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Why do Norwegians have bar codes on their ships?

So when they dock they can Scan the Navy in!

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Where do square riverbeds get their water from?

Box springs.

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A Hot Dog Walks Into A Bar and Orders A Beer

The bartender replies, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

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Why a stadium gets too hot when game ends ?

Because all fans leave the stadium

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A truck full of NyQuil crashed on the highway this morning.

The cops are saying there will be no congestion for eight hours.

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How do you feel after you eat pot brownies that aren’t quite done?

Half baked.

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How to you punish beef?

Ground them.

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Man: Your honor, my wife never laughs at my Star Wars jokes…

Judge: Say no more, may divorce be with you!

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I first met your mother at the Farmer’s market. She was selling honey and bee’s wax candles.

Right away I knew she was a keeper.

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My son had a lot of alphabet soup today at school.

He came home and complained of vowel movements.

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How much does a pirate pay for ear piercings?

A buck an ear

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The first French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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What’s the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

One says ribbit ribbit, the other says rub it rub it.

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Whats orange and sounds like parrot?

Carrot.

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What’s the point of having forearms…

…if I’ve only got two hands?

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Where did Noah keep his bees?

In The Ark Hive

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What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky

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what do you call cows that have a sense of humor?

Laughing stock!

Cowmedians?

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Mary had baby Jesus.

Jesus was the Lamb of God.

Therefore, Mary had a little lamb.

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Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp.

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What type of dinosaur has the cleanest teeth?

A flossiraptor.

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Did you hear about the chameleon that coun’t change color?

He had a reptile dysfuntion!

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