Tiki Humor

Anniversary Wishes

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind? The husband replied, All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry. Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, What are you thinking now? He replied, It looks as if I did a pretty good job.

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Life repeats itself

At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is having friends.

At age 16 success is having a drivers license.

At age 20 success is having sex.

At age 35 success is having money.

At age 50 success is having money.

At age 60 success is having sex.

At age 70 success is having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is having friends.

At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.

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might of been worse

The maiden of, er–forty or so, was much upset.

Quoth she to a younger friend:

“Kate talks so outrageously. Yesterday she actually told me I was nothing but a hopeless old maid.”

“That’s pretty frank!” exclaimed the friend.

“Yes; wasn’t it unladylike of her?”

“It certainly was rude,” agreed the other. “Still, it’s better than having her tell lies about you.”

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“Do you think I shall live until I’m ninety, doctor?”

“Do you think I shall live until I’m ninety, doctor?”

“How old are you now?”

“Forty.”

“Do you drink, gamble, smoke, or have you any vices of any kind?”

“No. I don’t drink, I never gamble, I loathe smoking; in fact, I haven’t
any vices.”

“Well, good heavens, what do you want to live another fifty years for?”

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