I met the love of my life on the internet. our first date went a fair bit better then theirs though. Do you have any fun internet dating stories?
…so i rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
The finest bourbon in the world comes from a single barrel. That’s the way Colonel Albert B. Blanton first bottled his private reserve bourbon nearly a century ago. Blanton believed the “center-cut” or middle sections of Warehouse H were the best for aging his bourbon. Personally tasting and choosing each barrel, these barrels were reserved and bottled for ambassadors, dignitaries, family and friends becoming the world’s first single barrel bourbon. His time honored tradition lives on today as only a handful of barrels from the center of Warehouse H are selected to become Blanton’s Single Barrel Bourbon.
Had some of the a couple weeks ago at a buddy’s batchelor party, and holy crap is it the most smooth, tasty Bourbon I’ve ever had in my entire damn life. It’s too expensive for casual drinking, but if you have the opportunity, I would HIGHLY suggest you try it.
via Blanton’s The Original Single-Barrel Bourbon.
Glass Tommy Gun 18-Inch Vase:
Add some mobster flair to any room of your home!
Holds 22oz of liquid.
This handsome Glass Tommy Gun is just the thing to give your home a little mobster hit man flair. Each 18-inch tall transparent glass gun holds approximately 22oz of liquid and comes with a cork in the end of the barrel. Makes a great vase, decanter or urn! Order yours today!
Looks like a nice shooter to me. Get it? Shooter? Cause it’s a gun, right?
buy it at Entertainment Earth
A man walks into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself.
“May I buy you a cocktail?”
“No thank you,” Maxine replies, “alcohol is bad for my legs.”
“Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?”
“No, they spread.”
via Naughty Bits
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
“Janie, do you have a story to share?’, asked the teacher.
”Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
”Good Heavens,’ said the horrified teacher. ‘What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?
“Don’t screw with Mommy when she’s been drinking.”
via Bits and Pieces.
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, “Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, it doesn’t matter to me. I just love it.”
Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, “No kidding. I’m in Congress too. What state are you from?”