Tiki Humor

What was wrong with the forgetfull pig?

He had hamnesia.

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What do you call a modest insect?

A Humblebee

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Where did Noah keep his bees?

In The Ark Hive

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What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky

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what do you call cows that have a sense of humor?

Laughing stock!

Cowmedians?

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what do you call a gator between two buildings?

An Alley Gator

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Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

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What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common?

They’re both perfectly safe until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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I just watched a program about beavers

It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen

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Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?

To get a long little doggie!

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What do cows listen to?

Mooooosic.

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Two fish are in a tank ….

… one turns to the other and says, “do you know how to drive this thing?

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what happens when a frog parks illegally?

He gets toad!

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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bull-dozer.

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What says “Quick, Quick!”?

A duck with the hiccups

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What do you get if you cross a duck with fireworks?

A firequacker!

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What do you call two ducks and a cow?

Quackers and Milk.

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what do you call young dogs that come in from the snow?

Slush puppies

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Why couldn’t the baby pony speak?

He was a little horse.

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I know someone who talks like an owl

I know someone who talks like an owl

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Fishing and Whiskey

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms.Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in its mouth.Frogs are good bass bait.Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in its mouth, I grabbed it right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket. Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. Its eyes rolled back, and it went limp. I released the snake into the lake without incident and carried on fishing, using the frog.

Not long after, I felt a nudge on my foot.

It was that damn snake… with two more frogs.

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How do you make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.

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What do you call a mentally challenged lion?

A leotard

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What do you call a monkey in a minefield?

A Baboom!

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