What was wrong with the forgetfull pig?
He had hamnesia.
What do you call a modest insect?
A Humblebee
Where did Noah keep his bees?
In The Ark Hive
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky
what do you call cows that have a sense of humor?
Laughing stock!
Cowmedians?
what do you call a gator between two buildings?
An Alley Gator
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common?
They’re both perfectly safe until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
I just watched a program about beavers
It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen
Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?
To get a long little doggie!
What do cows listen to?
Mooooosic.
Two fish are in a tank ….
… one turns to the other and says, “do you know how to drive this thing?
what happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.
What says “Quick, Quick!”?
A duck with the hiccups
What do you get if you cross a duck with fireworks?
A firequacker!
What do you call two ducks and a cow?
Quackers and Milk.
what do you call young dogs that come in from the snow?
Slush puppies
Why couldn’t the baby pony speak?
He was a little horse.
I know someone who talks like an owl
I know someone who talks like an owl
Fishing and Whiskey
I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms.Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in its mouth.Frogs are good bass bait.Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in its mouth, I grabbed it right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket. Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. Its eyes rolled back, and it went limp. I released the snake into the lake without incident and carried on fishing, using the frog.
Not long after, I felt a nudge on my foot.
It was that damn snake… with two more frogs.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
What do you call a mentally challenged lion?
A leotard
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A Baboom!