Tiki Humor

Irish blonde at the casino

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet 20,000 Euros on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.” With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed, “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!” She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?” The other answered, “I don’t know. I thought you were watching.”

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Not all Irish are drunks.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But all Men…are Men.

via Bits and Pieces.

Posted by tiki god

April 26th, 2011 at 8:05 am

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with ,

In a vacuum

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.

It was her turn.

She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.

Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?

via Thur Jan 14 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit.

Posted by tiki god

January 19th, 2010 at 12:54 pm

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with

Rolex and Timex

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”

“HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”

via Thur Jan 14 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit.

Posted by tiki god

January 14th, 2010 at 10:27 am

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with

Engine trouble

Fifteen minutes into the flight from New York to Phoenix, the captain announced, Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left. 

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry, we can fly just fine on two engines. 

An hour later the captain announced, One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another hour. But don’t worry, we still have one engine left. 

Sherry, a young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and sighed, If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day! 

Posted by tiki god

February 17th, 2009 at 8:26 pm

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (11 votes, average: 3.73 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with

Blond Farmer

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. Of course, the farmer is blond.

He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing and looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks, Ah, excuse me, mister, but what are you doing? 

The farmer replies, I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize. 

How?  asks the man, puzzled.

Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field! 

Posted by tiki god

January 28th, 2009 at 8:25 pm

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (6 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with ,