An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet 20,000 Euros on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.” With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed, “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!” She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?” The other answered, “I don’t know. I thought you were watching.”

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Not all Irish are drunks.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But all Men…are Men.

via Bits and Pieces.

It was her turn.

She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.

Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?

via Thur Jan 14 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”

“HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”

via Thur Jan 14 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit.

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry, we can fly just fine on two engines.”

An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another hour. But don’t worry, we still have one engine left.”

Sherry, a young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and sighed, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”

He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing and looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks, “Ah, excuse me, mister, but what are you doing?”

The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”

“How?” asks the man, puzzled.

“Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field!”