Tiki Humor

I always remind my kids to stay in school.

But they keep coming back.

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I heard my son say his first words to me today…

“Where have you been in the past 20 years?”

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Leroy…

A woman who has recently moved to a new area goes into the local welfare office to meet her now case worker. All is going well, her case for welfare is pretty solid, but then the worker notices something a bit off.

He asks the woman, “Excuse me ma’am, but according to this you have fourteen sons. Is this true?”

“Mmm-hmm. They’s my boys.”

“Well yes ma’am, I understand that, but why are all fourteen of them named ‘Leroy.'”

“Well that just makes it easier for me. Whenever I wants my boys to come for breakfast, I jus’ yell ‘LEEROY!’ and all my boys come running. Whenever I wants my boys to come for a bath, I jus’ yell out ‘LEEEROY!’ and all my boys come a’running.”

“Well then, ma’am,” says the worker, “I guess that makes sense to me, but what do you do if you want to talk to just one of your sons?”

“Oh, I jus’ call him by ‘is last name.”

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A Cup of Tea

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my mom came home.

My dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.

Then she said, (as only a mother would know), “‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water, is the toilet?”

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