Tiki Humor

Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?

To get a long little doggie!

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bridal

A cowboy and his new bride check into a motel. The cowboy explains to the desk clerk that they were just married that morning.

“Would you like the bridal?” the clerk asks them.

“No thanks,” the cowboy answers. “I’ll just hold her by the ears until she gets the hang of it.”

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Rodeo

Two cowboys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions. The first cowboy says his favorite position is the “rodeo”.The other cowboy asks what the position is, and how do you do it?The first cowboy says, “You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style.Once things start to get under way and she’s really enjoying it, lean forward and whisper in her ear: ‘Your sister likes this position too.’Then try to hang on for 8 seconds.”

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I Said….

So, Cowboy Bob is roaring across the plains on his trusty steed with 200 raging Indians, er Peaceful Native Americans, hot on his trail ready to scalp him. He whips out his rifle, fires his last two shots over his shoulder and takes out 15 of them. Then he pulls out his revolver, fires his last bullet and takes out 10 of them. Desperate, he flings the rifle and drops 20 of the Indians. Finally, in a last act of defiance, he throws his revolver and drops 12 more of them before the horde overtakes him.

Beaten and bound, he is presented to the chief, who tells him “Bob, you are the most incredible warrior we’ve ever seen, so we’re going to give you one last wish and let you live tonight, but tomorrow we’re going to kill you.”

Bob thinks, then says, “I’d like to speak to my horse.” He walks over, lifts the horse’s ear and whispers something. The horse sprints off, only to return an hour later with a hot blonde on it’s back.

Bob and blonde retire to Bob’s teepee, where they have loud sex all night long.

In the morning, the chief says, “Bob, not only are you the best warrior, you’re the best animal trainer we’ve ever seen, so we’re going to give you another wish, and one more night of life before we kill you in the morning.”

Bob walks to his horse, lifts its ear and whispers something. Again, the horse takes off only to return an hour later with a stunning brunette on its back.

Bob, the blonde and the brunette retire to Bob’s tee pee and, again, spend the night having loud, passionate sex.

In the morning, the chief, now being eyed by his wife, says to Bob, “Bob, not only are you the best warrior and animal trainer we’ve ever met, you’re the best lover we’ve ever heard of, so one more wish and one more night.”

Bob ambles over to his horse, lifts its ear and yells, “I SAID POSSE!”

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