Tiki Humor

I went to the doctor’s the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female; absolutely drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, “Don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll help you in any way I can.”

So I said,
“I think my penis may taste funny…”

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Well, you might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 hours! That’s terrible! What could be worse? What’s the very bad news?

Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, OK, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem? 

The mother says, It’s my daughter, Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight, and she’s sick most mornings. 

The doctor gives Darla a thorough examination, then turns to the mother and says, Well, I don’t know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant ” about four months would be my guess. 

The mother says, Pregnant?!? She can’t be. She has never even been left alone with a man! Have you Darla? 

Darla says, No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man! 

The doctor walks over to the window and just stares out of it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, Is there something wrong out there, doctor? 

The doctor replies, No, not really. It’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the East and three wise men came over the hill. I’ll be darned if I’m going to miss it this time! 