Tiki Humor

stay here for tonight

A traveling salesman’s car breaks down in the country, so he decides to call on the closest farmhouse.

When the farmer opens the door, the salesman says, “Sir, my car died just up the road. Could I stay here for tonight?”

The farmer says, “Sure, but I have a very handsome son and you’ll have to promise not to sleep with him.”

“Excuse me,” says the salesman, “but I think I’m in the wrong joke.”

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coincidence

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman perked up and said, ‘How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!’
‘What a coincidence’ the farmer said. “This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.’
‘This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,’ said the woman.

‘What a coincidence!’ said the farmer. As they clinked glasses he added, ‘What are you celebrating?’
‘My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my Gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!’
‘What a coincidence!’ said the man. ‘I’m a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile,
but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.’
‘That’s great!’ said the woman, ‘How did your chickens become fertile?’

‘I used a different cock,’ he replied.
The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, ‘What a coincidence!’

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ride him like a cowgirl

Bubba, a farm boy fresh off the tater wagon, and not accustomed to bein’ with the ladies, met a sexy babe at the Dead Steer Country & Western Bar

She told him she wanted to take him home and ride him like a cowgirl on a bucking bull.

She wasn’t very good, though; he was able to throw her off in less than 8 seconds, each and every fuck’n time!

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Blond Farmer

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. Of course, the farmer is blond.

He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing and looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks, Ah, excuse me, mister, but what are you doing?

The farmer replies, I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.

How? asks the man, puzzled.

Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field!

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