Tiki Humor

What do the broccoli say to the ranch?

I’m going to take a dip

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There are some wrappers under the couch….

….Eminem and 50 cent.

submitted by /u/WorthPear0
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TIL they don’t cook French fries in France

They cook them in Greece.

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Apparently you can’t use beef stew as a password .

It’s not strogonoff.

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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring

The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

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I’ve always wanted to replace the Mediterranean with orange soda.

I guess it’s always been my greatest Fanta Sea.

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Did you know there’s a pastry that can’t be made or sold at night?

A day-nish.

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How do you feel after you eat pot brownies that aren’t quite done?

Half baked.

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My son had a lot of alphabet soup today at school.

He came home and complained of vowel movements.

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The first French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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Whats orange and sounds like parrot?

Carrot.

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What do you call a vegetable that has escaped from prison?

Esca-peas

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Did you hear about the cheese factory that burned down?

All that’s left is de Brie.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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What’s the quietest dinner?

A Shhhh Kebab

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My sister bet me $1,000 that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti

You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta.

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What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

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My doctor tells me I’ve got a bacon addiction.

Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.

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How many apples grow on trees?

All of them

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My wife has an extraordinary ability to cook persevered food from a jar.

Her cooking is uncanny.

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I’ve started eating my meals from scales instead of a plate…

I’m aiming for a well balanced diet.

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Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?

Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.

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How much room do you need to grow a fungus?

As mushroom as possible.

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A slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.00 and a slice in the Bahamas is $2.50.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

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What do you call multiple calzones?

Calztwo

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