What do you call the world’s smartest butcher?
Cleaver.
What do the broccoli say to the ranch?
I’m going to take a dip
There are some wrappers under the couch….
….Eminem and 50 cent.
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TIL they don’t cook French fries in France
They cook them in Greece.
Apparently you can’t use beef stew as a password .
It’s not strogonoff.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring
The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
I’ve always wanted to replace the Mediterranean with orange soda.
I guess it’s always been my greatest Fanta Sea.
Did you know there’s a pastry that can’t be made or sold at night?
A day-nish.
How do you feel after you eat pot brownies that aren’t quite done?
Half baked.
My son had a lot of alphabet soup today at school.
He came home and complained of vowel movements.
The first French fries weren’t cooked in France.
They were cooked in Greece.
Whats orange and sounds like parrot?
Carrot.
What do you call a vegetable that has escaped from prison?
Esca-peas
Did you hear about the cheese factory that burned down?
All that’s left is de Brie.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
What’s the quietest dinner?
A Shhhh Kebab
My sister bet me $1,000 that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
My doctor tells me I’ve got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
How many apples grow on trees?
All of them
My wife has an extraordinary ability to cook persevered food from a jar.
Her cooking is uncanny.
I’ve started eating my meals from scales instead of a plate…
I’m aiming for a well balanced diet.
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
How much room do you need to grow a fungus?
As mushroom as possible.
A slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.00 and a slice in the Bahamas is $2.50.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.