What do you call a vegetable that has escaped from prison?
Esca-peas
Loading...Did you hear about the cheese factory that burned down?
All that’s left is de Brie.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
What’s the quietest dinner?
A Shhhh Kebab
My sister bet me $1,000 that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
My doctor tells me I’ve got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
How many apples grow on trees?
All of them
My wife has an extraordinary ability to cook persevered food from a jar.
Her cooking is uncanny.
I’ve started eating my meals from scales instead of a plate…
I’m aiming for a well balanced diet.
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
How much room do you need to grow a fungus?
As mushroom as possible.
A slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.00 and a slice in the Bahamas is $2.50.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
What do you call multiple calzones?
Calztwo
A ham sandwich walks into a bar
and asks for a drink. The bartender replies, “We don’t serve food here”.
Why did the computer cross the road?
To get a byte to eat!
I always heat up my Thanksgiving Leftovers
I quit cold turkey a long time ago
What do you call fake spaghetti?
Impasta
What is it called when a chickpea is killed?
Hummicide
Why couldn’t the grape help his friend move into his new house?
“Because he was in a jam
Which wouldn’t be bad, but all the grapes that DID help just whined the whole time.”
How do you send a sandwich to someone on a computer?
One byte at a time
Which state has the smallest soft drinks?
Minisoda
How do you repair a broken tomato?
Tomato Paste!
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A Slipper.
Why did the Orange go out with a Prune?
Because he couldn’t find a Date!
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