Tiki Humor

What kind of shoes do frogs wear?

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talking frog

A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk. “Kiss me and I will turn into a princess.” The guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket.

The frog starts shouting, “Hey! Didn’t you hear me? I’m a Princess. Just kiss me and I will be yours.” The guy takes the frog out of his pocket and smiles at it and puts it back.

The frog is really frustrated. “I don’t get it. Why won’t you kiss me? I will turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you ask.”

The guy says, “Look, I’m a computer geek. I don’t have time for girls… But a talking frog is cool!”

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Lazy Frog

A beautiful, well endowed, young blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions).

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody’s watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, “I’ll take one.” The man packaged the frog and said, “Just follow the instructions carefully.”

The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy teddy.
4. Crawl into bed and position the frog in place.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, “If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.” So, the girl calls the pet store.

The man says, “I had some complaints earlier today. I’ll be right over.” Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The girl welcomes him in and says, “See, I’ve done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there.”

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: “Listen to me! I’m only going to show you how to do this one more time!”

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