Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage just for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally spoke, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop. You probably should just consider selling all your tools along with your gun collection and that stupid vintage Harley.”
Tom got a horrified look on his face and began choking.
She said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
He replied, “There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife!” she screamed, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”
Tom replied: “I wasn’t.”
Joe and Myrtle were married for over 50 years when Joe died. A few months later, Myrtle died, too. In heaven, Myrtle looked around for Joe, and found him ¦ behind a cloud, fucking another woman! Joe! Darling! she cried. What are you doing? Hang on, Myrtle, replied Joe. Don’t ˜darling’ me. The deal was clear: till death do us part!
— Fri Jan 23 Â« Lefturn’s Funny Shit