Tiki Humor

What do you call a missing psychic midget?

A small medium at large.

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depressed horny midgets

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of “Here I come again …ONE, TWO, THREE…UUH!” all night long. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, “How did it go?” The first mutters, “It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn’t get a hard on.” The second dwarf shook his head. “You think that’s embarrassing?” “I couldn’t even get on the fucking bed

via Mon Feb 22 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit.

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Tall woman and a midget

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman’s apartment. I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,  said the woman, especially with the size difference and all.  Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes,  said the midget. The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she’d ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times. If you think that was good,  said the midget with a smirk, Just wait till I get BOTH FUCK’N legs in there!

 

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a midget with a speech impediment

A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks, “How will I recognize him?” “That’s easy, he’s a midget with a speech impediment.”

So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse. “A female horth.” So he shows him a prized filly. “Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth”?

So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over. “Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth”?

So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse’s ears.

“Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf”? The rancher is gettin’ pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse’s mouth.

“Nith mouf, can I thee her twat”?

Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget’s head as far as he can up the horse’s twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground. The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.

“Perhapth I should rephrathe that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit”?

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Question Of Height

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this she can’t stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor’s office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

The supervisor is puzzled by this and says, “What’s wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?”

The woman replies, “He’s a midget!”

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Midget Fucker

A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!

Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, Take it easy Dear, Can’t you see I’m trying to taper off?

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