Tiki Humor

What do you call a monkey in a minefield?

A Baboom!

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monkey eats a cue ball

The man brought his monkey to the bar and the monkey got a little rambunctious. He grabbed a maraschino cherry and popped it in his mouth, Then a peanut and popped it in his mouth then a cue ball. The Bar owner yelled and made the man remove the monkey. A year later they were back to the same bar, the monkey grabbed a cherry, stuck it in his butt and ate it, then a peanut, stuck it in his butt and ate it …The bar owner yelled WHAT the hell is that monkey doing/ The owner replied that ever since the monkey ate the cue ball a few months ago …he makes sure everything fits.

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Expensive Scotch

A guy walks into a bar and says “What kind of scotch have you got?”

The bartender says “I have the finest scotch in the world!, but it’s very expensive, it costs about 300 dollars a glass, but you have to do some other things first before you are allowed to have it”

The guy says, “What do I have to do?”

The bartender replies, “well, In addition to the 300 dollars, there is a woman upstairs who has never had an orgasm her entire life, AND, there is a native silverback gorrilla out back that has a very serious back problem, If you can give the woman an orgasm, AND cure the gorilla of its back problem, you can have the scotch”

The guy says “You’ve got a deal!” And with that, he places 300 dollars on the table and triuphantly strides out back. He is out there for almost an hour, people can hear grunting, and the sounds of the intense physical strain of the man trying to cure the gorilla. After a very long time of wrestling with it, the man comes back into the bar, his shirt ripped to shreds and covered in bruises

“Alright!” he says, “Now where’s that woman with the back problem?”

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