A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. The doctors were at a loss so they decided to try one last quasi-medical trick.

They went to her husband and said, “As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.” The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they’d close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife’s room.

After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flatlined—no pulse, no heart rate.

The doctors ran back into the room. “What happened!?” they cried. The husband said, “I’m not sure—I think maybe she choked.”

via The Beer Goggler | Sometimes, All It Takes Is One More Drink….

A small company teeters on the edge of bankruptcy and so the owner summons his two-man sales force into his office.

“Things aren’t going too well, guys,” he announced grimly. “So to perk up sales I’m announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job.”

“What does the loser get?” asked one of the salesmen.

The owner looked at both men and said, “The loser gets to give it.”
– The Beer Goggler | Sometimes, All It Takes Is One More Drink…

During his monthly visit to the corner barbershop, this fellow asked his barber for any suggestions on how to treat his increasing baldness. After a brief pause, the barber leaned over and confided that the best thing he’d come across was, er, female juices. “But you’re balder than I am,” protested the customer. “True,” admitted the barber, “but you’ve gotta admit I’ve got one hell of a moustache!” –Mon Jan 5 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit