Tiki Humor

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you! Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several steps and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”

She looked at the men in the room, “and Gentlemen, remember — You’re in this together — It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her.

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

Yes”, answered the Instructor.

I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

via Bits and Pieces.

Thur Dec 18 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit

A guy picks up a girl in a bar, brings her home,and they start fucking. He starts sucking on one of her tits and milk comes out. He says, Hey, are you pregnant?  She says, That wasn’t a nipple, that was a boil. 

DeadDog » DeadDog Archive » Pregnancy Test

A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work.

Honey, I have some really great news for you!  she said.

Great, tell me what you’re so happy about!  he replied.

I’m pregnant!  she said.

He kissed her and told her, That’s great! I couldn’t be happier! 

Then, she said, Oh honey, there’s more! 

He asked, What do you mean, ˜more?’ 

She said, Well, we aren’t having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS! 

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.

She said, Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the TWIN PACK home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive! 

ME