A guy picks up a girl in a bar, brings her home,and they start fucking. He starts sucking on one of her tits and milk comes out. He says, “Hey, are you pregnant?” She says, “That wasn’t a nipple, that was a boil.”

A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work.

“Honey, I have some really great news for you!” she said.

“Great, tell me what you’re so happy about!” he replied.

“I’m pregnant!” she said.

He kissed her and told her, “That’s great! I couldn’t be happier!”

Then, she said, “Oh honey, there’s more!”

He asked, “What do you mean, ‘more?’”

She said, “Well, we aren’t having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!”

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.

She said, “Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the TWIN PACK home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!”

ME