Tiki Humor

A man goes into a job interview.

A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.

The employer is shocked at how professional he is, “Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?”

The man replied, “Oh, that’s when I went to Yale.”

The employer is even more impressed. “That’s great, you’re hired!”

The man is super happy and says “Yay, I got a yob!”

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with

My twin brother called me from prison.

He said “so you know how we always finish each other’s sentences…”

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with ,

What do you call a vegetable that has escaped from prison?

Esca-peas

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with ,

Your dad is in prison and he has a stutter.

He’s never going to finish his sentence.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with

A blond man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet…

A blond man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.

“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.

“Hanging myself,” the blond replies.

“The rope should be around your neck”, says the guard.

“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe.”

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with ,

redneck on death row

There was a German, an Italian and a Redneck on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:

1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, “Shoot me right in the head.” Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, “Just hang me.” Snap! he was dead.

Then the Redneck said, “Give me some of that AIDS stuff.” They gave him the shot, and the redneck fell down laughing.

The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Redneck said, “Give me another one of those shots,” so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally the warden said, “What’s wrong with you?” The Redneck replied, “You guys are so stupid….. I’m wearing a condom.”

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with , ,

prison for the next 20 years

A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.

She went downstairs and looked all around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the basement to find her husband, crouched in the corner and facing the wall crying.

She asked him, What’s wrong with you? He replied: Remember when your father caught us together, when you were 16?

Remember, he said, I had a choice: I could either marry you, or be sent away to prison for the next 20 years.

Baffled, she said, Yes.

The husband bawled, I would have gotten out of prison today. 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
Loading...

Posted in Jokes

Tagged with ,