Tiki Humor

I have some jokes about unemployment

But I don’t think they will work

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Workplaces have been worse!

Are you overworked, under paid, over-regulated, under-leisured, and underbenefited? Take heart! Not only could it be worse, it has been. This notice was found in the ruins of a London office building. It was dated 1852:

1. This firm has reduced the hours of work, and the clerical staff will now only have to be present between the hours of 6 a.m. and 7 p.m. weekdays.

2. Clothing must be of sober nature. The clerical staff will not disport themselves in raiment of bright colors, nor will they wear hose unless in good repair.

3. Overshoes and topcoats may not be worn in the office, but neck scarves and headwear may be worn in inclement weather.

4. A stove is provided for the benefit of the clerical staff. Coal and wood must be kept in the locker. It is recommended that each member of the clerical staff bring four pounds of coal each day during the cold weather.

5. No member of the clerical staff may leave the room without permission from the supervisor.

6. No talking is allowed during business hours.

7. The craving for tobacco, wine, or spirits is a human weakness, and as such is forbidden to all members of the clerical staff.

8. Now that the hours of business have been drastically reduced, the partaking of food is allowed between 11:30 and noon, but work will not on any account cease!!

9. Members of the clerical staff will provide their own pens. A new sharpener is available on application to the supervisor.

10. The supervisor will nominate a senior clerk to be responsible for the cleanliness of the main office and the supervisor’s private office. All boys and juniors will report to him 40 minutes before prayers and will remain after closing hours for similar work. Brushes, brooms, scrubbers, and soap are provided by the owners.

11. The owners recognize the wisdom of the new labor laws, but will expect a great rise in output of work to compensate for these near Utopian conditions.

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Making A Living

If you want to make a living you have to work for it, while if you want
to get rich you must go about it in some other way.

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Tardy Boss

“Why is it you never get to the office on time in the morning?” demanded
the boss angrily.

“It’s like this, boss,” explained the tardy one; “you kept telling me
not to watch the clock during office hours, and I got so I didn’t watch
it at home either.”

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Foreman Vs Laborer

Foreman: “‘Ow is it that little feller always carries two planks to
your one?”

Laborer: “‘Cos ‘e’s too blinkin’ lazy to go back fer the other one.”

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